Raise your hand if you mostly put yourself first on a daily basis? Yeaaaah, me, neither. Taking care and helping others is something I love doing, and sometimes I get so busy and caught up in doing that that I put myself on the back burner. And guess what happens when I do that?
Y’all know.
I become mentally, physically, AND emotionally drained.
I used to think that that was just part of the work that I do and dealt with the burn out by splurging – splurging on what I ate and drank, splurging on an expensive spa trip – spending money was my go-to to coping mechanism when I felt burned out. Over time, I’ve come to realize just how important it is for me to prioritize self-care on a daily basis, not a once-in-a-while basis. This way, I don’t feel the urge to splurge because I’m taking care of myself more often now.
What is self-care, anyway? PsychCentral defines self-care as “any activity that someone does deliberately in order to take care of their mental, emotional, and physical health.”
Because of my struggle with prioritizing myself, I found myself Googling things like, “ways to practice self-care” and “how to deal with burnout”. I came to realize that I have to proactively plan for taking care of myself – no one else is going to do it for me. I found the gem of a blog, The Blissful Mind, and the creator, Catherine is a mindset and self-care coach. Her content is incredibly insightful and tremendously helped me set up my self-care routines. This is also where my I got my inspiration for doing mind-body-soul monthly goals, too! You can read through my monthly blog posts about my goals here.
Recently, I have spent some time and energy working on developing a self-care routine, and if you don’t have an explicit self-care routine yet, I think you can use mine as a helpful guideline for creating your own.
Morning
Backstory: we have had our rescue puppy from Puerto Rico for three weeks now, and since then, my morning routine has drastically changed – especially since the time changed! Bella (Bé-yah) isn’t used to the time change yet, so she’s been waking up anywhere between 4:30-5:00am ready to go potty. Since I’m on Bella morning dutry, I get up to take her out each morning.
After I hear her cry, the first thing that I do when I get up is loosening up my body by taking a big stretch – I elongate my back, stretch my arms out, do side-to-side twists, and roll my neck. It seriously feels so good to get a big stretch in right when I wake up. Once I’m back inside, I spend some time cuddling with Bella, who is a total love bug. Seriously, she instantly flops down on her back wanting belly rubs and offering endless kisses and licks. This morning time with my puppy feels precious, it makes my heart so soo full (I wanted a dog for years before getting one!).
In the morning, I really enjoy using a few of my favorite products to wash my face. Because I usually shower at night, washing my face is also the “splash” I need in order to wake myself up. Later in the morning, another way I choose to practice self-care is by taking a multi-vitamin every day with breakfast. It’s such a small action – swallowing a pill – but how many of us DON’T take a vitamin each day? I’m not the world’s best vegetable eater, so taking a multi-vitamin each morning supplements my body with a variety of vitamins, minerals, and nutrients that it needs.
One mental/emotional self-care activity that I do during my morning commute to work is meditate for 10 minutes. I got a deal for a Headspace subscription (it was 6 months for $20 via an Instagram ad!), and I’ve been going through sets of challenges that they have on the platform. Right now, I’m doing the “change” series, which has been enlightening with all of the change that has happened in my life this past month (there’s been even more happening in my personal life that I won’t get into right now, but lots of changes that feel hard to deal with). Headspace does have a free version (I did the 10-day free series and that’s what got me hooked!), but I also just heard about the InsightTimer app, which is a library of free guided meditations, that I can’t wait to explore.
For mental clarity, once I’m at work I prefer to write down the top three most important things that I need to accomplish during the workday. I find this very helpful with prioritizing my time and energy.
Afternoon
Prioritizing self-care during the afternoon time is tough – there seems to be endless meetings, slack messages, and a constant flow of emails to get through. With that in mind, I am actively working on practicing better self-care during the afternoon, and here’s how:
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Taking a 15-20 minute mental break/walk outside, no matter what (I often struggle to leave the office during the workday)
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Reaching out to teammates for help (big or small) on certain tasks that are part of their expertise
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Being nice to strangers (holding open doors, smiling, saying “thank you”, etc.)
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Showing appreciation to colleagues (I’m all about the shout outs at work!) and building culture by being inclusive
Night
While I have an ENFJ personality type, I do tend to enjoy staying in more than being out. After work, I now hang out with my puppy, which consists of spending a lot of time outside to help her get potty trained as well as learning how to play with other dogs at the dog park instead of simply flopping on her back and exposing her belly to other dogs (submissive, anyone?). Bella is hysterical, I find myself laughing out loud every single day while I’m playing with her – it’s quite the stress reliever, actually.
After playing with Bella, one of two things will happen:
1. I will light some candles and usually find something on Netflix/Hulu to watch with Cesar (right now we’re obsessed with A Million Little Things and This is Us).
2. I’ll go to the gym and do a group fitness class. I used to commute straight to the gym after work, but because we have a puppy now, I take a 7:30pm class instead of a 6:30pm one. This happens 1-2 times during the week.
Once I’m settled in for the night, Cesar and I catch up on each other’s days, eat dinner, and hang out. Cesar’s a night owl, and I’m a morning person, so I don’t stay up nearly as late as he does. I like to be in bed by 10:30pm at the latest. Cuddling with him for a little while on the coach is also soothing because sometimes I find it hard to shut my work brain off at night, and he rubs my neck, cracks my back, plays with my hair – all that good,a relaxing stuff that can help ease my mind.
At night, I often indulge in a long, hot shower and enjoy every.single.second of it. Using my favorite hair and body products is such a treat to me, I really enjoy finding the products that work best for my hair it’s (incredibly thick and wavy) and skin type (it’s super sensitive!). I take big, deep breaths while in the shower, too, which is a classic stress reliever. Going to bed calm and fresh to death is the BEST feeling, no doubt.
Occasionally, something else that I do right before bed (when it needs it) is a quick de-clutter session of the apartment. Folding up blankets, putting shoes/coats/hats away, loading/unloading the dishwasher – taking 5-10 minutes to get it done before turning in for the night makes me feel so much better in the morning when I wake up to a tidy space.
That’s my day-to-day self-care routine. For me, mindfully thinking about self-care and taking the time to care for myself each and every day was a huge mental shift that helped me prioritize myself. It’s not extravagent, but I now see and acknowledge the time and energy that I’m putting into taking care of myself rather than being on autopilot and feeling drained.
Do you think about self-care? If so, how often? If you’d like more ideas on how to practice self-care, check out this blog post.
Cheers,
xx Marah Elizabeth
